Couples who are in their 50s or beyond are among those at the highest risk of divorce. Gray divorces are more common now than they were decades ago, and they pose unique challenges for the spouses. Older couples who have enjoyed long-term marriages choose to divorce for many reasons.
Some of them grow apart over time and no longer share the same values. Other times, differences in health or retirement expectations can contribute to gray divorce. Regardless of why couples decide to divorce during or immediately before retirement, they need to navigate the process carefully. The three specific issues below often require the most careful consideration in a gray divorce scenario.
The allocation of critical assets
Retirement savings, pensions and home equity are among the assets that spouses may need to split up in a gray divorce. Those who are nearing retirement or already retired have limited opportunities for rebuilding financially following a divorce. It is therefore critical to approach the process carefully to ensure financial stability in the future.
The need for spousal maintenance
Perhaps one spouse has a pension that they cannot directly divide. Maybe one spouse may continue working as a consultant for several years, while the other is not in the position to reenter the workforce. There may be a need for one spouse to provide financial support for the other. Spousal maintenance, also known as alimony in other jurisdictions, can help balance the outcome of property division in a gray divorce scenario.
Shared social circles
Typically, older adults preparing for gray divorce usually do not have minor children in the home anymore. However, they may have children and grandchildren who they see regularly. They may attend the same church and have strong relationships with the same people. Divorcing couples may need to negotiate arrangements with one another that allow them to preserve their social relationships after the divorce. For example, they might agree to give one another space at family get-togethers so that they can attend the same events.
Other times, they might agree to alternate which weeks they attend club meetings or religious services so that both spouses can maintain their social relationships without creating stress and conflict for everyone because of their divorce. Healthy socialization is crucial to happiness during retirement, especially for those who have divorced.
Talking openly and honestly about personal needs and future expectations can help people prepare for complex gray divorces. In scenarios where spouses can work together, they can reduce their divorce costs and set themselves up for the best possible future after the divorce.
