Parents help oversee the social and physical development of their children. Enrolling them in school is part of that process. So is encouraging their participation in age-appropriate activities with their peers.
Children of various ages may participate in soccer leagues, t-ball, choir and an assortment of other activities, ranging from scouts to student government. Parents usually encourage at least some extracurricular activities for their children as a way to enrich their education and deepen their social connections. Particularly when parents share custody, they may find themselves disagreeing about their children’s extracurricular activities.
How can parents help encourage their children to live rich lives without setting themselves up for disputes with one another?
Reasonable limitations
One of the best ways for parents to avoid conflict related to extracurricular activities is to start out a co-parenting relationship with the rules in place already. At what age can children start participating in sports and other activities? What grades do they have to maintain?
Are there certain sports that the parents consider too dangerous, such as football, cheerleading or hockey, that they do not want the children to participate in while they are still minors? These are all important questions to answer so that the parents can be on the same page and work cooperatively to help their children embrace age-appropriate group activities.
Standards for sharing
Parents have to have a plan in place to share the responsibilities and rights that come with a child’s involvement in sports and similar activities. How do the parents intend to split the cost generated by extracurricular activities? The expenses could be significant, especially in activities that require a lot of specialized equipment, such as hockey, or access to special facilities for practice, such as gymnastics.
Parents also have to consider who may volunteer to support the team or club and who attends practices, competitions or performances. They may even want to impose limitations on who comes with the parents, such as prohibiting the inclusion of new romantic partners to keep the focus on the kids.
If parents take the time to address these potentially contentious matters before they cause conflict, they can set themselves up for a more peaceful and cooperative co-parenting relationship. Taking the time to negotiate a variety of terms can make it easier for parents to share physical and legal custody.
